


Aftermath

by teennplantt



Series: Back in the 90's [3]
Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Breaking The 4th Wall, Car Wreck, Coma dreams, Conflict Resolution, Drug Use, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Rehab, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teennplantt/pseuds/teennplantt
Summary: BoJack's coma helps him come to terms with a lot that he's been through, and he gets better, with a little help from all of his friends.
Relationships: BoJack Horseman/Herb Kazzaz
Series: Back in the 90's [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1653787
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> i debated posting this because i hate doing happy endings, but one fic in this damn fandom has to have one. i keep thinking each fic is gonna be the last in the series, but it probably won't be

"Oh, God, they're gonna have to pull the plug," Todd threw himself over Bojack's bed dramatically. 

"What? No, he's just under sedation," Princess Carolyn rolled her eyes. A smile spread across Bojack's sleeping face as he mumbled, 'Thank you.' 

"Bojack, don't go into the light!" Todd shouted. 

"Will you quiet down?" Princess Carolyn hissed. "He's just dreaming." 

"I don't know. He doesn't look so good."

"C'mon, let's go get some coffee. We've been at this all night." Princess Carolyn stood, and Todd followed her out of the room. She led the way downstairs to the cafeteria. 

"Pretty crazy about Herb, huh? His cancer goes into remission, and then he dies on his way to visit Bojack. What do you think that was about?" Todd asked. "I mean, he must've had something important to say, right?" 

"I don't know," Princess Carolyn sighed. "I knew Herb back in the day, and he was never a big fan of me. But that was probably because I had an obvious crush on his husband, and he saw me as a threat to his career." 

"You had a crush on Dave? Isn't he in a wheelchair now?" 

"What?" Princess Carolyn glared at Todd. "I was talking about Bojack. Herb and Dave were never married." 

"Ugh, it's all so confusing," Todd groaned. "Dave was never in love with Herb, and Herb was never in love with Bojack. But now Herb wanted to talk to Bojack, and he got in a car crash." 

"That's too much, man," Sarah Lynn chuckled. She overheard their conversation from across the cafeteria and approached them. 

"And now pop star and child actress Sarah Lynn is here!" Todd gasped. "What're you doing here?" 

"I heard about Herb's crash on the news, so I came to visit him. You guys know Bojack?" 

"I'm his agent," Princess Carolyn announced. "I heard you're in need of new representation yourself." 

"Ugh, no, thanks." 

"Wait, you're here to visit Herb?" Todd's eyes widened. "Princess Carolyn, this means-" 

"That Herb's not dead. No doy," Sarah Lynn interjected. "He was officially declared dead, but they revived him once he made it to the hospital." 

"So this means-" 

"That when he wakes up, he can say that thing to Bojack, yeah," Sarah Lynn said. "Why're you guys here?" 

"We're visiting Bojack," Princess Carolyn explained. 

"And why is Bojack here?" 

"Drug overdose." 

"Shit," Sarah Lynn's eyes widened. "I always thought I'd be the first one of the Horsin' Around gang to die." 

"Bojack's not dead." 

"Oh, he's not? That would've made a killer story, literally. Do you guys know if it's cool to smoke in here?" 

"In a hospital? I don't think so," Princess Carolyn snorted. 

"Damnit, where am I supposed to keep this, then?" Sarah Lynn pulled a baggie of various drugs out of her purse.

"Um..." 

\---

"So...I know we have some things to talk about," Diane sat down on the couch, and Mr. Peanutbutter took a seat beside her. He took her hands and pulled them into his lap. "You wanna go first?" 

"I still love you, and if you still wanna marry me, that's all that really matters to me." 

"I made out with Bojack," Diane admitted. "At the hospital, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep hurting you. I just do these things, and in the moment, I'm not thinking. I'm just doing whatever I want with no regard for anyone else." 

"Did you wanna make out with him?" 

"Yeah, I did, but afterwards, I just felt shitty. I do love you, but I don't know what I want right now. And I don't expect you to wait around for me to figure it out." 

"I think we need to break up." 

"But why? I mean, we're so good together, and what about all that stuff you said at the hospital about how much you love me?" 

"That's all still true, but this wedding stuff is clearly freaking you out. And I can't be with someone who doesn't wanna get married." 

"I do wanna get married." 

"Really? Because I'm not getting that at all. It seems like what you wanna do is make out with Bojack because- oh, wait! Yeah, that's what you did." Mr. Peanutbutter released Diane's hands and stood from the couch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go play in the ball pit like a mature adult who knows what he wants."

"I don't think mature adults play in ball pits." 

"What about Princess Carolyn's boyfriend, Vincent? He loves the ball pit." 

"Mr. Peanutbutter, I don't wanna fight with you." 

"You don't have to. I wanna be alone anyways. You..." he took a deep breath. "You really hurt me tonight." 

\---

"And that's basically the story of how I broke out of rehab," Sarah Lynn said. "What were we talking about?" 

"I asked you what Herb was coming to the hospital to say to Bojack," Princess Carolyn sighed. 

"Oh, right. I don't know," Sarah Lynn shrugged. "Like I said, I only came down here after seeing the news story about Herb kicking the bucket." 

"Do you remember-" 

"Probably not." 

"Do you remember," Princess Carolyn huffed. "Much about Bojack and Herb's relationship?" 

"Not really. I mean, I was still a kid. I remember going into Bojack's dressing room the day they finished production on Horsin' Around."

"No, we already did that one." 

"Oh, then not really. But I know where they're keeping Herb. You should probably ask him. I bet he remembers it," Sarah Lynn said. 

"Herb's awake?" 

"No, he's in a coma. I meant you should ask him when he wakes up. Can I see Bojack? I haven't seen him since the show quit airing." 

"Yeah, c'mon, I'll show you to his room." Princess Carolyn and Sarah Lynn went to see Bojack, leaving Todd to his own devices in the cafeteria. 

When they arrived at Bojack's room, he was still heavily sedated, and Sarah Lynn groaned. 

"Is anyone in this hospital actually awake? This is stupid boring," she whined. 

"Would you shut up? It's not supposed to be exciting. People are dying here!"

"Bojack," Sarah Lynn shook his shoulders violently. "Bojack, wake up. They're doing a reunion of Horsin' Around." 

\---

"What the hell is happening?" Bojack stumbled on his feet and fell to the ground. "Is there an earthquake?" 

"Who can say?" Herb shrugged. "Have another drink." He refilled Bojack's glass, and he tried to reach the table in what appeared to be Angela Diaz's living room. He lost what little purchase on the ground he still had, and he flopped onto his stomach. 

"What're we doing here?" Bojack flipped over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. 

"Angela invited us. She'll be here shortly," Herb explained. 

"What's she gonna do? Retroactively fire us because the network couldn't sell Horsin' Around to Disney after we came out?" 

"This is a pleasant meeting between friends. Let bygones be bygones, won't you?" 

"I will not. She single-handedly ruined my life. If it hadn't been for her, you wouldn't have tricked me into marrying you." 

"Do you really think anything would be different if we hadn't gotten married? You can blame me for everything that went wrong in your life, if you want, but the truth is that you made every single one of your shitty decisions without my help."

"I think if you'd wanted to be with me instead of fucking with my emotions for ten years, we'd still be together." 

"And would that really make you happy?" 

"I mean, yeah, I think so. For a while." 

"I thought I could learn to love you, BJ, but the closer I got to you, the more I realized that you put everything before me."

"Name one thing-" 

"Alcohol, drugs, your own narcissistic bullshit. Just to name a few. You always made me feel like it was my job to take care of you, and it wasn't. Nothing you did was ever my fault, but you blamed me for everything. Constantly, and you drug me down into your pity party. You made me feel like I was worthless because I couldn't take care of you." 

"Herb, I'm so sorry. It wasn't your job to take care of me." 

"I know that now, but why're you doing the same thing to Diane? She doesn't deserve you." 

"I-I know-" 

"Do you even love her?" 

"I do. At least, I think I do." 

"You need help, BJ." 

"Yeah." 

\---

Bojack swatted Sarah Lynn's hands away and grunted. "This isn't the bar. I need to fire my assistant." 

"He's awake!" Sarah Lynn cheered. 

"What're you doing here?" 

"I came to see Herb," Sarah Lynn replied. "He's not dead." 

"Goddamnit, stupid sedation! Wait, am I awake now? I feel like I'm awake, but what you just said feels too good to be true." 

"I think you're awake. Unless I passed out and this is all part of my dream." 

"Wait, if you came to visit Herb, does that mean he's here?" Bojack shot straight up, ignoring the ache in his joints. 

"Yeah, he's upstairs," Sarah Lynn nodded. "But he's in a coma. The crash banged him up pretty good." 

"Can I see him?" 

"I don't see why not?" Sarah Lynn shrugged. Bojack stood shakily from the bed and clutched his IV for support. "What's wrong with you? PC said you just OD'd." 

"It isn't just OD-ing at my age, apparently," Bojack huffed. He got to his feet and slid into his hospital slippers. 

"If I had to guess, I'd say your age is about a hundred," Sarah Lynn snorted playfully. Bojack grumbled something about kids today as they left the room. 

"So how've you been?" Bojack asked. 

"Amazing, as usual. My life is terrific, and everyone wants to be me." 

"Uh-huh," Bojack nodded. 

"Yeah, so no news, really. Oh, my stepdad got sent to jail." 

"Why?" 

"Um...I don't wanna get into it, but child molestation." 

"Wait, what?" 

"Yeah, but it's no big deal. I mean, it probably fucked me up for life, but it's like not that bad or whatever." 

"Oh," Bojack's eyes widened in realization. "You never mentioned..." 

"Bojack, I was a kid. What was I supposed to say?" 

"I don't know. I guess I could've been more present." 

"Eh, you were going through your own shit." 

"Yeah, but-"

"I don't blame you, y'know? There's not really anything you could've done. My stepdad was just some shitty guy, and you can't really take responsibility for that." 

"You were crying because you had to go back to your mom after Horsin' Around was finished, and I didn't even think to ask why." 

"It was a long time ago. I'm glad you're still here now," Sarah Lynn put her hand on Bojack's arm. "Well, there he is." She gestured to Herb's room, and Bojack took a deep breath before stepping inside. Sarah Lynn stayed beside him for moral support. 

"I wonder what he's dreaming about..." 

\---

Bojack placed the last pancake onto Herb's plate and handed him the syrup. "Who wants chocolate chip pancakes?" 

"I do!" Herb laughed as he took the plate. "Thanks, BJ." 

"Of course," Bojack smiled and sat beside him at the breakfast table with his cup of black coffee. 

"You're not eating?" Herb frowned. 

"Nah, I gotta go on a run later. I'm trying to drop a couple pounds for the Secretariat movie," Bojack said. "We start filming next week." 

"I'm so proud of you," Herb took Bojack's hand and ate with the other. "These are delicious, by the way. You can't just have one bite?" He picked up a piece with his fork and made it hover right in front of Bojack's nose. "C'mon, one bite." 

"No," Bojack laughed. "You're trying to fatten me up." He turned his head, but Herb chased him with the pancake. "Hey, cut it out." 

"No, c'mon, eat," Herb insisted. Bojack opened his mouth to retort, and Herb shoved the fork in before he could speak. 

"You bastard," Bojack snorted playfully as he was forced to eat the bite of pancake. 

"You love me," Herb chuckled. 

"Yeah, I do. Do you ever think about us?" Bojack sighed. "I mean, this is how good it could've been." 

"All the time." 

"Then why did you leave?" 

"Can we just go back to the other dream?" Herb asked. "I'm not awake for any of this anyway. I may as well enjoy it." 

"No, because you know it's not real. Just tell me why you left me. Was it the drinking, or the fact that I ruined Horsin' Around, or that I didn't want kids, or-" 

"BJ, stop," Herb snapped. "It wasn't just one thing. It was everything, and at some point, I just kind of realized that we weren't meant to be. Why can't you realize that too?" 

"You're my last chance at love. You were my only chance at love. I've loved you since we met, and I can't give up on that. Don't you love me? Why else would we be together in your dream?" 

"Because it's comforting, and it's easy. I'm just trying to go through what my brain thinks it has to go through before I leave." 

"You're not gonna die, Herb. You're just in a coma. You can beat this." 

"I don't want to beat this. I hope I never wake up. I've already coped with my own mortality. It's time everyone else did the same. Do me a favor and go back to bed, BJ." 

"It's not really too late for us, is it?" 

"It's been too late for us for a long time." 

\---

"Where are you going?" Mr. Peanutbutter huffed. Diane grabbed her keys with a wince. 

"I'm going to visit Bojack. I told him I'd visit him yesterday, but I was exhausted." 

"Oh," Mr. Peanutbutter's face fell. "Do you really...I mean, you don't have feelings for him, do you?" 

"I told you, I don't know. I'm just going to visit my friend. He's probably really broken up right now. Did you see the news?" 

"About the robbery at gunpoint?" 

"No, about Herb," Diane rolled her eyes. "He got in a wreck." 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Mr. Peanutbutter asked. 

"No, I'll be okay." She left the house, and Mr. Peanutbutter had no more reason to hold back his tears. 

Diane pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and sighed as she pulled out her phone. She contemplated calling Bojack and telling him that she couldn't make it because it was just too hard. Every time that she saw him, she only managed to get more confused, but she found herself getting out of the car and heading inside. She could be strong if it meant that Bojack would feel better. He was probably miserable, and she owed him a visit. She stepped into Bojack's room, only to find his bed had been vacated. 

"Where's Bojack?" she asked the nurse who was changing his bedsheets. 

"Probably upstairs," the nurse grumbled. "He's barely left Mr. Kazzaz's side, even though we've tried to discharge him multiple times. There are people who could really use the bed that he refuses to stay in." 

"Um...thank you? I'm sorry, did you say Mr. Kazzaz?" 

"You haven't heard? The paramedics were able to restart Mr. Kazzaz's heart, but he took a real hit. He's in a coma, but he's here." 

"Herb's here?" Diane's eyes widened. "Where exactly?" 

"Upstairs, third door on the left once you get out of the elevator." 

"Thanks," Diane ran up the stairs, too impatient to use the elevator, and she found Herb's room. Sure enough Bojack was seated beside his bed. He held Herb's hand, and their IV stands were parked beside one another. It was an oddly beautiful picture. 

"Hey," Diane smiled as she stepped into the room. She took a seat beside Bojack. "Sorry I didn't make it yesterday. I fought with Mr. Peanutbutter, and then I slept for about fifteen hours. And now I'm good." 

"It's fine," Bojack shrugged. "I was under sedation until a few hours ago. Sarah Lynn's in the cafeteria getting coffee, and I had Todd and Princess Carolyn to keep me company." 

"That's good." 

"Yeah." 

"How do you feel?" Diane asked. "I mean, I imagine this is a real roller coaster for you." 

"Yeah, I guess so. I think I have to go to rehab." 

"Oh, shit." 

"I'm scared, Diane." 

"It'll be okay. We'll be there for you every step of the way." 

"What if I go to rehab, and when I come out, I'm still the same piece of shit? Or what if it doesn't work, and I relapse?"

"Then you'll get sober again." 

"That's depressing." 

"No, it just means you never run out of chances to improve yourself." 

"But you do eventually. I mean, you can't expect people to keep forgiving you and that the slate just gets wiped clean over and over again. Once you break someone's trust, it's never the same. There's always gonna be a black mark on the relationship." 

"If Herb woke up right now and asked you to take him back, would you?" 

"..."

"Really think about it. Here, I'll be Herb, and you be you." Diane shut her eyes. 

"I don't see how that's gonna help." 

"Shhh, clear your head," Diane said. Bojack took a deep breath, and Diane opened her eyes. "Hey, BJ." 

"Okay, stop," Bojack shook his head. "No offense, but you're not an actor." 

"I'm trying to help you. Would you just play along?" 

"Fine," Bojack rolled his eyes. "Hey." 

"What're you doing in the hospital?" 

"I could ask you the same question," Bojack chuckled. "There are about a hundred hospitals in LA, and you have to come to this one." 

"I crashed closest to this hospital," Diane replied. "I wanted to see you." 

"Why?" 

"Because I love you. Would you take me back?" 

"No. Oh, shit, no. I always thought I'd say yes. I always say yes in my dream."

"Why not?" 

"Because...you hurt me. A lot, and I don't think you really love me. I can't trust that you love me after everything you put me through. If anything, that just proves the point I made about it being impossible to really wipe the slate clean." 

"I really thought you'd say yes." 

"Wait, are you still doing Herb, or are you Diane again?" 

"I'm Diane. I just thought you'd say yes. If you weren't going to say yes, why are you here?" 

"Because I OD'd." 

"One of the nurses told me they tried to discharge you today, and you refused. Why're you really here?" 

"I don't know." 

"Yeah," Diane sighed. "You do." 

"I wanna know what Herb was going to say to me. I mean, it doesn't make sense for him to drive all this way just to tell me to go to Hell, does it?" 

"No, but it also doesn't make sense for him to have changed his mind about you. So it's gotta be something in the middle." 

"I can't run away from this. Can you do me a favor?" 

"Yeah, anything." 

"Get Sarah Lynn." 

\---

"Why the long face?" Angela chuckled. She took a seat on her expensive-looking sofa and peered down at Bojack.

"How the hell did I get back here?" Bojack grumbled. He sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "And where's Herb?" 

"He couldn't make it this time," Angela stirred her gin and tonic. "Why don't you have a seat? There's something I've been meaning to tell you." 

"I don't wanna hear anything you have to say. I don't work for you anymore."

"I suppose," Angela shrugged. "Why are you here then?" 

"I got high with Sarah Lynn so I could stay in the hospital. I didn't wanna run away from Herb, and I knew that if I left, I wouldn't be back." 

"Bold of you to assume you're coming back now. Do you have any idea how much heroin's in your system?" 

"Not really."

"Your immune system was weakened by your first attempt on your life. The doctor's are doing everything they can, but your odds of coming out of this are slim. And even if you do, you're going to be put on watch and not allowed any visitors until they can safely cart you off to rehab. Your poor decision making has once again placed you just a hair out of Herb's orbit."

"Do you ever say anything slightly encouraging?" 

"No," Angela said. She took a sip of her drink and offered one to Bojack again. He got to his feet and slammed back the drink in her extended talons. "Do you feel better now knowing that you'll finally get the help you need?" 

"No," Bojack shook his head. "I'm scared." 

"Tell it to your mommy." 

"If you morph into my mother right now, I'm seriously going to kick my brain's ass when I wake up." He plopped down on the couch and awaited the inevitable. 

"If you wake up," Beatrice scoffed. 

"Goddamnit," Bojack groaned. "Wait, why are we still in Angela's house, and what was she gonna tell me?" 

"It's rude to stay seated in the presence of a lady." 

"Kiss my ass." 

"I won't have my only son speak to me in that tone." 

"What're you gonna do, mom? Remind me of what a worthless piece of garbage I turned out to be? You're too late because you do that everyday!" 

"I'm not going to tell you that I'm proud of your little show or that I'm proud of you for throwing away the last thirteen years of your life because I'm not. Nothing you've done has ever been any accomplishment worthy of pride, Bojack." 

"Yeah, sounds about right." 

"My only son, in love with a man," Beatrice sighed. "All of my worst nightmares come true. You're nothing more than a washed-up Hollywood fairy." 

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we get Angela back?" 

"Angela never had the approval to fire your little boyfriend, that's what she was going to tell you. You risked your career, and you wasted your life for nothing." 

"This is just a dream, or I'm awake, but I'm tripping. Either way, you're full of shit." 

"It's true, Bojack. She was trying to pit you against him in the hopes that she could get him fired, but it backfired. Herb could've saved his own career. He never even needed you, and you stuck by him and thought you were some great big hero all these years. He owes you nothing, just like the rest of this world." 

"You're lying. Herb needed me just as much as I needed him." 

"Neither of you could save each other. Why else would you both have ended up here?" Beatrice snarled as she dashed out the remainder of her cigarette. 

\---

"It's not your fault," Todd said. "Bojack just does shitty things sometimes, and we can't blame ourselves for that." 

"I shouldn't have left him alone with Sarah Lynn," Diane sobbed. "He might die now because I thought I could trust him." 

"Diane, Bojack's an adult, and you left him with someone else who's also an adult. You should've been able to trust them, and it's their fault that you couldn't." 

"Speaking as a fellow adult," Vincent cleared his throat in order to deepen his voice. "I have to use the potty." 

"It's right down the hall. I'll show you," Princess Carolyn led Vincent out of the room. 

"Three kids in a trench coat," Bojack muttered drowsily. 

"Bojack?" Diane gasped and reached for his hand. 

\---

"Diane!" Bojack yelled, and Beatrice laughed cruelly. 

"You're not waking up this time, and you have Diane thinking it's all her fault. What do you have to say for yourself?" 

"I'm sorry." 

"A lot of good your sorries are doing her now. She can't even hear you." 

"She knows I'm sorry though, right? She knows it's not really her fault, and that I'm just some shitty guy she used to know? And she knows that she's not really responsible for leaving me alone with Sarah Lynn because it's not like I said 'Diane, can you leave the room for a minute while I shoot heroin?'" 

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her I was still feeling pretty light-headed from the sedation, and asked if she could get me some ice chips." Bojack hung his head. "Maybe I deserve this. Without even trying, I already ruined her life, and she's only known me for a few months." 

"Yes, you do deserve this, so you should just lay there and take your medicine," Beatrice snorted. "If you're lucky, you'll be dead before the sun rises." 

"What about Herb?" 

"What about him?" Beatrice asked. "He was happy without you, and when he wakes up, he'll go back to being happy. As we all will, because you will no longer be this dark cloud hanging over our lives." 

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Rest now, Bojack. It only gets easier from here." 

\---

The machine flatlined, and Diane felt her own heart stop. A team of nurses and doctors rushed into the room and pushed her aside as they attempted to revive him. Diane couldn't watch, and she turned into Todd's shoulder for comfort. 

"Oh," one of the doctors took a step back from Bojack's bed. 

"What do you mean, 'oh?'" Diane snapped as she turned around. 

"Faulty machine, I guess," the doctor checked Bojack's pulse again to be sure. "Yeah, he's still breathing." 

"You scared the shit out of us!" Diane shrieked. The doctor shrugged unsympathetically, and he and his team filed out of the room. "I really thought he was gone," she resumed her seat beside Bojack's bed. 

"Yeah, me too." 

"Did you feel...I don't know-" 

"Relieved?" 

"Yeah," Diane sighed. "Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I'm sure it was just the adrenaline, and as soon as I calmed down, I'd go back to being sad. I'm sad now, and it's not like I wanted Bojack to die." 

"It doesn't make you a bad person. Bojack's a lot, and that's at his best, and lately he's been at his worst." Todd put his hand on Diane's shoulder comfortingly. "It's not like we wanted Bojack to die." 

"Yeah, you're right." 

\---

"Honey, I'm home," Bojack called out jokingly as he hung his jacket on the coat rack. 

"How was your day at the business factory?" Herb asked. He came to greet Bojack at the door with a kiss. "Supper's in the oven." 

"It was great. We did a lot of business," Bojack said. He went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. 

"How's Vincent?" 

"Still three kids stacked on top of each other in a trench coat, sweetie," Bojack replied through gritted teeth. The saccharinely cheerful scene began to melt around them, and Herb was left standing in a pitch black room. Alone. 

"BJ?" Herb called out uncertainly. "Hello, anybody?" He stumbled around the room but couldn't get his bearings. He saw a door on the other side of the room and made a run for it. The faster he ran, the further the door was from him. He ran until his lungs ached, but he was trapped inside the room.

"Somebody help me!" he screamed. He sank to his knees, partially in terror, and partially from exhaustion. "Please, I don't want to be here!" Tears began to fall down his cheeks, and he stood again. He had to keep running. He tried to make it to the door again, but it stayed just out of reach. He struggled to catch his breath, and he was scared that he never would. 

"Somebody help me," he repeated brokenly. "Somebody help me." His throat was wrecked from pleading, and still no one answered him. 

"Herb, grab my hand," Bojack's voice boomed overhead, but Herb couldn't see him. 

"Where are you?" 

"Just open your eyes. I'm right here."

"I can't see you," Herb shook his head. He tried to walk towards Bojack's voice, but it seemed to be coming from every direction. "BJ, help me!" 

"I'm trying! Just grab my hand!" Herb reached up blindly, but there was nothing to grab onto. "It's not too late, Herb. You don't have to be alone." 

"I'm- I- I don't know." 

"Don't think. Just trust me," Bojack appeared in front of Herb and took his hands. "Would you rather be alone than with me?" 

"I thought I was okay by myself." Tears continued to pour down Herb's cheeks, and he clutched Bojack like a lifeline. "I never knew I was in so much pain." 

"You were dying," Bojack rubbed his thumbs over Herb's knuckles soothingly. "You didn't have time to think about yourself or what you want for your future."

"I wasn't dying when we were married." 

"You didn't want me then, and I understand that now. Do you want me now?" 

"I don't know. You're asking a lot from me. You wanna pick things up where we left off, and I can't offer you that because for me, there was no where we left off. I don't wanna hurt you anymore than I have." 

"Let's just get a cup of coffee. It's gonna be okay," Bojack led Herb towards the door and opened it easily. They stepped through the door and into a quaint coffee shop. Bojack released Herb and put on an apron before stepping behind the counter. 

"What can I get you?" Bojack asked. His tone was friendly but unfamiliar. 

"What's happening now?" 

"I'm sorry. Did you want a minute to look over the menu?" 

"No, I'll have a decaf americano," Herb frowned. 

"Coming right up. Can I get a name for the order?" Bojack grabbed a cup and scribbled the order on the side. He paused with the marker hovering above the cup and awaited Herb's response. 

"It's Herb, and you know me, BJ. What're you doing?" Herb glanced around fearfully. 

"My name's Bojack, actually. There's only one person who calls me BJ." 

"Yeah, it's me!" 

"No, I think I'd remember you. My husband calls me BJ, which is kind of a stupid nickname when you think about it. It's also the initials for blowjob. Wonder if the genius ever thought of that. Anyways, decaf americano coming right up." 

"I started calling you that as a joke because of the whole blowjob thing actually, but I grew pretty fond of it over the years. We stillhave a lot of good memories together." 

"I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear a damn thing over this steamer." Bojack turned back to face Herb. 

"Why're you acting like you don't know me?" 

"Hurts, doesn't it?" 

\---

Diane put her keys in the bowl by the door and quietly crept upstairs to find Mr. Peanutbutter was already asleep. She sat down on the edge of the bed and finally allowed herself to cry. 

"Diane?" Mr. Peanutbutter mumbled sleepily. 

"Hey," Diane sniffled. "Sorry, I'm just...a mess." 

"C'mere," Mr. Peanutbutter pulled back the covers, and Diane kicked off her shoes before curling into his side. "What's wrong?" 

"I can't work on the book because it reminds me of Bojack which reminds me that he's been in a coma for a week now which reminds me that he may never wake up. But Pinky's pushing this deadline, and I have to get something out there. But I can't. It's too hard." 

"The doctors say Bojack could wake up any day now," Mr. Peanutbutter rubbed Diane's back soothingly. "Get some rest, and try to work on the book in the morning." 

"Are we gonna be okay?" 

"I don't know," Mr. Peanutbutter sighed. "I think so." 

"I love you," Diane pulled Mr. Peanutbutter closer. "So much." 

"I love you too." Mr. Peanutbutter kissed Diane on the forehead. 

"Can you forgive me? You don't have to answer now, but I just feel so shitty constantly because I know that I hurt you. And making out with Bojack was stupid, and I don't wanna lose you. You're-" 

"Maybe if you wanna move on, you can start by not constantly reminding me that you made out with my best friend." 

"I'm sorry." 

"I know, and I'm trying to forgive you because I still love you. No matter what we're not gonna lose each other." 

"Yeah, sure would suck to end up like Bojack and Herb. Y'know, since they're both in comas and only separated by one floor in a hospital, and oh my god, this is perfect for the book!" Diane shot out of bed and grabbed her laptop. Mr. Peanutbutter sighed and went back to sleep. 

\---

Bojack's eyes fluttered open and landed on Todd, who was passed out on the couch in his hospital room. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and checked his phone to see no one had bothered trying to contact him, not even his mother. He was sure his overdose was all over the news, and even she didn't want to see him. His phone buzzed with an incoming voicemail from Diane. 

'Hey, I'm almost finished with your book. I don't know why I called you since you're probably still in a coma, but it's been hard to write because I can't stop worrying about you. And writing the book only makes me think about you, and then I start worrying about you again. Anyways, I'm really proud of myself for even being able to work on the book, and I hope you like it. I'll send you a copy once I'm finished. This is Diane, by the way. Nguyen, obviously.' Bojack listened to the voicemail, and his heart wrenched. Diane had been worrying about him because of what he did to himself. He felt like he was going to be sick. The room began to spin, and he grabbed the nearest bucket. He laid back in bed and sighed before giving Diane a call back. 

"Bojack?" Diane answered the phone on the first ring eagerly. 

"Hey, I got your voicemail." 

"Oh, delete it. I'm really high, and I was rambling," Diane lied. She was too embarrassed to admit that she'd poured her heart out to Bojack's voicemail box. "I'm glad you're okay." 

"Why?" 

"Because I care about you, Bojack, and I kind of blamed myself for what happened. I shouldn't have left you alone with Sarah Lynn." 

"I'm sorry, Diane. For a million things, but especially that. It's not your fault. I just got scared, and I knew I couldn't run away this time. Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Diane chuckled. "Funny you just woke up from a coma, and you're asking me if I'm okay. Are you okay?" 

"For the first time in my life, I think I will be. Do you know if Herb's..." 

"He's still resting. What're you gonna do once you're free to go?" 

"I'm going to rehab. I can't really avoid it anymore." 

"Hopefully, I'll get to see you before you go in. I'm gonna miss you."

"I was actually hoping you'd be my ride. I'm not allowed to leave the hospital alone." 

"Yeah, whatever you need." 

"Thanks, Diane," Bojack smiled. 

"I'll be at the hospital tomorrow. Goodnight, Bojack." She ended the call, and Bojack set down his phone. He got out of bed and went upstairs to visit Herb. 

"Hey, Herb, I don't know how much you can hear in there. I couldn't hear a lot, I don't think. At one point, I think I heard Diane, but maybe I dreamt that. I dreamt a lot of crazy shit," Bojack took Herb's hand with a heavy sigh. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that, I'm going to rehab tomorrow, and I'm scared. This is the longest I've been sober since I was 9, and that's a pretty sad thing for me to just be realizing. I wish you could be here. I mean, actually here. I wanted you to love me so badly that I pushed you away, and I'm sorry. I don't even know if I still want to be with you, but I know I want you back in my life. I'll call you when I get out of rehab. Alright, um...bye. See you around." Bojack released Herb's hand and headed towards the door. 

"BJ, wait," Herb said. 

"Oh, what the fuck?" Bojack turned to face Herb. 

"I woke up from my coma yesterday. I was just taking a nap before you walked in, but I figured if I pretended to still be asleep, you might give some kind of embarrassing personal speech. And I was correct." 

"Okay, it wasn't That embarrassing." 

"I was messing with you, BJ. It was perfect. I hope you know that I'm proud of you." 

"I didn't know that, actually." 

"Well, I'm saying it now. I guess there are a lot of things we never said to each other, huh?" 

"Yeah, we were never really one of those couples who talked to each other about their problems." 

"I'm glad you're going to rehab. Promise you'll give me that call when you get out?" 

"Yeah, I promise," Bojack nodded. "Hey, can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah." 

"Why were you coming to visit me?" 

"I didn't realize how hard it was, being alone, and I wanted to start over." 

"Oh." 

\---

6 Months Later

Bojack stepped outside, expecting to see Diane waiting for him. He had his bag slung over his shoulder, and he breathed in the fresh air for what felt like the first time in his life. 

"Hey, BJ!" Herb yelled from across the parking lot. 

"You're here," Bojack smiled. 

"Yeah, Diane told me you were getting out today. Thought you'd wanna see a familiar face." 

"You've been talking to Diane? How is she?" 

"It's been hard since you left, but she's good. She's married now." 

"And how're you?" 

"Let's get a cup of coffee. We've got a lot of catching up to do." Herb took Bojack's hand and led him towards his van. 

"Ugh, do we have to get coffee? I'm so sick of coffee." Herb laughed as he opened the door for Bojack. "Seriously, it's like sober people's water."


End file.
